Donald Trump is actually taking a break from the campaign to go visit his golf resort in Scotland tomorrow. Right after he leaves the U.S., Republicans will say, “Quick! Build the wall!”
Trump’s campaign isn’t doing so well financially. A recent report said his campaign even spent over $100,000 for meals just last month. Trump was like, “Well, that’s the price you pay for hiring Chris Christie.”
More than one joke here from the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon:
… and even more from Jimmy Fallon:
Things are really heating up between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Hillary gave a speech yesterday attacking Trump, and then today, Trump gave a counter-speech attacking Hillary. Which means 2016 will always be remembered as the election of “Shut up” — “No, you shut up.”
Donald Trump gave a speech today on what he called the failed policies and bad judgment of Hillary Clinton. And he’s right, her judgment isn’t always great, but nobody will listen to him because his judgment is so much worse.
Anti-Trump Republicans have reportedly been re-energized by reports that Donald Trump’s campaign is having financial problems that could lead to an alternative GOP nominee. “Awesome,” said Jeb Bush, before slipping on a banana peel and falling into a manhole.
Last night, the Federal Election Commission announced how much cash each campaign has on hand. And Hillary Clinton is burying Donald Trump $42 million to $1.3 million. I always knew those huge skyscrapers were overcompensating for something in his pants. I just never imagined it was his wallet.
$1.3 million isn’t even enough to afford a one-bedroom apartment in Trump’s own building. Not that he would want it. I hear the landlord is a jerk.
Mrs. Clinton discussed Mr. Trump’s record with casinos in Atlantic City and the bankruptcies of his companies. She said Mr. Trump had “written a lot of books about business” and added, “They all seem to end at Chapter 11.”
Quoted by Matt Flegenheimer in the NY Times
“While they were in the DNC cyber matrix, the Russians apparently stole opposition research on Donald Trump. Russia, what are you doing? If you want damaging information about Donald Trump, just wait for him to talk.” –Stephen Colbert