Monday, August 1, 2016

Today, Donald Trump said that when he asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails he was being “sarcastic.” Which makes sense — if anyone understands comedy, it’s the Russians.
– Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump vowed that when he is president he will replace the broken glass ceiling with a reinforced titanium steel ceiling and that women are going to pay for it.
– James Corden

Trump wants to build a wall and bring in foreign workers. It’s like he’s playing a game of tic-tac-toe against himself. Or maybe this is a Telemundo prank show. We sent a bunch of workers to the United States. Wait until they find out who their new boss is.
– Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump told reporters yesterday that he doesn’t know who Vladimir Putin is. He then paused and went, “Oh, you mean Vlad? Yeah, of course I know Vlad.”
– Seth Meyers

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