Friday, July 8, 2016

The Juno satellite probe which hasn’t been heard from in five years and has been traveling through deep space finally reached Jupiter yesterday and reestablished contact with Earth. The Jupiter satellite’s first message was, “The Republican Nominee is WHO?”

It’s rumored that Snoop Dogg will perform at the Democratic Convention. When he heard this, Donald Trump immediately took him off his vice presidential list.

In a speech yesterday, Donald Trump praised Saddam Hussein for killing terrorists. He also said Hitler was a wonderful dancer and Stalin made a great omelette.
-Conan O’Brien

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